You Will Be Exalted

“Those who exalt themselves will be humbled,
And those who humble themselves will be exalted…”

I am at such a loss.

I can never seem to maintain that spirit of fervor I so arrogantly boast of having. I am at a loss. And maybe that’s the point. I’ve been praying the Litany of Humility again. It’s one of my favorites, but every now and then I fall off the wagon of praying it regularly. I pray it once a week so as to be consistent, but not overwhelm myself. Humility, after all, doles out a severe blow, against ego, against false self-perception, and against the idea that we are in control.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned through my religion is the true meaning of humility. For the longest time, I mistakenly believed that humility meant the opposite of arrogance. Now, arrogance and humility are certainly opposed to each other, but humility has a more profound meaning than just that. Arrogance is simple; it is the distorted sense of self, that one is better than he actually is. Therefore, the opposite of arrogance would be a distorted sense of self, that one is worse than he actually is. Both are lies. Both are self-destructive.

Humility however, is what strikes the balance between the two. It is knowing the truth of oneself.

Know your strengths. Acknowledge them in front of others, acknowledge, but not flaunt. If someone compliments your talent, give a humble ‘Thank you,’ not a headshake, or a shoulder shrug. If what you do gives glory to God, you should not diminish it in order to appear humble. True humility will reveal that while you are talented, that talent comes from Him. That God is the one who constantly enables your abilities.

Know your weaknesses. Acknowledge them in front of others, acknowledge, but not self-pity. You are human and you make mistakes just like everybody else. Forgive yourself, for God already has. And you are not better than God. You are not more just. You are not more intelligent. He knows your weakness intimately and He forgives you.

In response to a penitent who was excessively distressed by sins he had committed, Saint Padre Pio said, “That which you feel is pride; it is the demon which inspires you with this sentiment, it is not true sorrow…The spirit of God is a spirit of peace, and also in the case of grave sin, it makes us feel tranquil sorrow, humble, confident, and this is due precisely to His mercy. The spirit of the demon, on the contrary, excites, exasperates, and makes us in our sorrow feel something like anger against ourselves, and so if certain thoughts agitate you, this agitation never comes from God, who gives tranquility, being the Spirit of Peace. Such agitation comes from the devil.”

The first time I read that, it blew me away. Sorrow for sin can’t be pride, can it? Such anger and pity towards oneself comes from a belief that while others sin, I am not like others. I am better. I should be better able at controlling myself. But I wasn’t.

It turns out that I’m no different from anyone else. And that thought is deeply disturbing. Who am I to think I shouldn’t make mistakes? Who am I to think I am capable of great things on my own?

Here’s the beautiful part: As soon as I truly accept that I am human, incapable of any good on my own, I “will be exalted,” and have a self-confidence like never before, because it will be firmly planted in God’s unwavering strength.

So why am I at such a loss?

Because accepting this truth is so incredibly difficult. Working on humility requires pulling back layer after layer of ugliness that otherwise goes unnoticed. But I look forward to the day when I can stand before my enemies, enduring their ridicule and their scorn, forgetting myself and continuing to bring the light of Christ to them.

To God be the Glory!

This is the version of the litany that I pray. It is quite daunting, possibly discouraging or off-putting, but bestows a great lesson. It is not a prayer against being loved or well-liked, but a prayer for proper desires.

Litany of Humility

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,                               Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,                                Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved,                                      Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled,                                  Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being honored,                                  Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being praised,                                   Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred,                                Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted,                                Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being approved,                                Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated,                                 Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being despised,                                    Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes,                                Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being slandered,                                  Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten,                                   Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed,                                   Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged,                                   Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected,                                  Deliver me, Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I,                           Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I,                     Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others
          may increase and I may decrease,                        Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside,                    Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,                 Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything,        Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided
          that I may become as holy as I should,                Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.